My grandparents just moved into one of those huge swanky retirement homes. They gave me a tour recently and all these poor people do all day is play cards and make blankets.
During my visit, I started thinking about how kick ass a place like this would be when people my age are old enough to live there. Instead of card games and bingo we would have rooms with huge screens for Halo tournaments and Guitar Hero face-offs. Instead of a shuttle bus taking us to the Cracker Barrell every day, we would have a pimped out party bus taking us to a My Chemical Romance reunion concert. Instead of having a room that smells like mothballs and perscription ointment, every room would have the faint scent of pot and Jager-bombs.
And just think, our grandkids will still think we're uncool, those little bastards.
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Banzai Harakiri
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