fredag 29. februar 2008

Are you a hard-ass?



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Banzai Harakiri

Seen one of these?

What the....



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Banzai Harakiri


If the line is to long....



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Banzai Harakiri

Vintage ads thats kind of funny... :-)











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Banzai Harakiri


How the future will be...

..was something they wondered about in the 1970ish. They even wrote a book about it, and now the "the Useless Museum" has scanned the entire book and made it public. Its awesome :-)

Check it out!

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Banzai Harakiri


torsdag 28. februar 2008

Taking your lady for a drive...

Who said that Romance was dead? :-)



From Iznogood_
Banzai Harakiri


Creative....

An image from Iznogood (I got a bunch from him :-) )





I bet you are glad that this kid doesnt live in your neighbourhood :-)


From Iznogood__
Banzai Harakiri


When doin the job aint enough...

Thanks again to Iznogood for this contribution! :-)





From Iznogood_
Banzai Harakiri


Have a bad job? Think again...

A good friend of mine sendt me these photos.
Thanks Iznogood!












From Iznogood__
Banzai Harakiri


Priceless...

These stories came from a good friend.
Thanks Sianaat!
------------------------------

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He
says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100
dollars?

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns
around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs
around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your
breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh?
Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal
the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he
grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing
them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite
them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..."

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THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2007...

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

:-)


From Sianaat__
Banzai Harakiri

fredag 22. februar 2008

Two hunters... (joke)

. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

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Banzai Harakiri

Strange Flight Attendant

Listen to this flight attendant. I have the feeling that this is not the first time he's reading the manual, and wanted to polish it a little. :-)

The video (you need sound..)


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Banzai Harakiri

Between the Pilot and the Tower...

Some funny quotes from the air...
Between the Pilot and the Tower

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Banzai Harakiri

With paper and a scissor...

Here's what you can do if you got some spare time and a scissor close by...
Paper Art

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Banzai Harakiri

Cool old lady



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Banzai Harakirir

Run Panda, Run!

A Zoo breakout. Look at the second panda, looking around to check if anybody is paying any attention.. :-)


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Banzai Harakiri

To mutch snow...



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Banzai Harakiri

Maybe call for a plumber?

Sign on a bathroom door...


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Banzai Harakiri

Blind Faith...



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Banzai Harakiri

Just one puff more...



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Banzai Harakiri

Don't Argue With The Gay Flight Attendant (joke)

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."

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Banzai Harakiri

Helping hand...

Always remember to lend a helping hand to someone that needs it...



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Banzai Harakiri

Bad advertising...

This cant be good for business....



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Banzai Harakiri

Quick hurry! Theres almost noone left...



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Banzai Harakiri

Somethimes you can read....

...it in the name (dont even have to go between the lines :-) ).



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Banzai Harakiri

Good Advice...

Maybe not what the writer wanted help with?



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Banzai Harakiri

Road Block....

A hot tip: dont yell at the driver in front of you... especially when he's driving a bus...



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Banzai Harakiri

torsdag 21. februar 2008

Whats next?

I didnt think anything could beat diet-soda, but look at this....



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Banzai Harakiri

The Simpsons

I'm a big Simpsons fan, and I have always tried to catch what Bart writes on the chalkboard in the start of each episode. Then I found this list....
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Intro's

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Banzai Harakiri

When life is a little depressing...

remember its always someone that have it worse!



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Banzai Harakiri

Waiting in line...



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Banzai Harakiri

The worlds worst hacker...

I just shook my head in disbelief when I read this. It has to be faked? Nobody can be that stupid? Oh man....

The Worlds Worst Hacker

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Banzai Harakiri

Bumper sticker...



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Banzai Harakiri

Taking a few minutes off...

This seems like a good idea...



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Banzai Harakiri

He's not gone....



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Banzai Harakiri

Pets....those poor pets...

Some thing should be forbidden by law. Dressing dogs in costumes is one of them.
Have the people doing sutch a stupid act really thought about how it might feel for the pets? They will be the laughting stock for all their friends in months to come.

Check out this gallery of horror

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Banzai Harakiri

Mother inlaw... (joke)

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab . "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...

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Banzai Harakiri

The real truth....

...of the Tubbies. :-)



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Banzai Harakiri

Military rules....

This guy seems like he had a fun time when serving in the army.
Just try to imagine the situation that leads up to these new rules... :-)

List of rules

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Banzai Harakiri

It aint easy beeing the boss...

Giving out rewards is one of the hard ones...



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Banzai Harakiri

.

Not tasty at all...

Bad people....



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Banzai Harakiri

Ready for battle....

You gotta fight for your nuts....



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Banzai Harakiri

Smoking in the Rain... (joke)

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, “Hey that’s a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?”

The other old lady said, “It’s a condom.”

“A condom? Where do you get those?”

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, “What size do you want?”

The old lady thought for a minute and said, “One that will fit a Camel.”

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Banzai Harakiri

When virtual thingies goes to far...

Found this comic strip, and posted it here. Not because its kind of funny, but as a reminder of the other things, you know: the things thats not inside the mainframe?



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Banzai Harakiri

Far Cry 2

Yeah, I'm a gamer. An old gamer, but still able to give some virtual ass-kicking :-)
One of the years top games-to-be, is Far Cry 2, and I cant wait to get my hands on a copy.

Why? See for youself...


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Banzai Harakiri

tirsdag 19. februar 2008

Funny Commercials..

This is a collection of some funny television ads in the US.


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Banzai Harakiri

onsdag 13. februar 2008

IIn Case of Hippies

This should be in all homes, seriously!


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Banzai Harakiri

Library... a unknown place...

There is actually people that doesnt know what a public library is...amazing.
From a forum

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Banzai Harakiri

Jesus is light...

Well, i dont think it was ment like this. Is it only me, or is this a little
disturbing?



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Banzai Harakiri

Sand Castle...

One popular "sport" when on holiday, is to build sandcastles on the beach...
Well, the person(s) that build this is way beyond that point when ordinary castles
was hard to create... Man, this is well done!



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Banzai Harakiri

Data Sheet...



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Banzai Harakiri

Company Brandings....

Well, lets assume you are a lazy, have no fantasy, wanna-make-a-quick-buck kind of guy
that have some items you want to get sold quickly. Branding is the way to go...
Check out these pictures..

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Banzai Harakiri

Men die younger than women... why?

There is a scientific fact that men die younger than women, and
I present the reason why...

Why men die younger

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Banzai Harakiri

America's last hope....

Hehe, found this one today.



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Banzai Harakiri

tirsdag 12. februar 2008

Triggerhappy....



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Banzai Harakiri

Monty Python....

Monty Python is THE funniest comedians in the earth history, and here is a small collection of some of their funniest sketches. Enjoy! :-)

Monty Python - Murderer

Monty Python - Hitler in England

Monty Python - Fish Slapping Dance

Monty Python - I Wish to Report a Burglary

Monty Python - Bicycle Repairman!

Update: unfortunately, some of the clips have been removed from youtube, but do a search for "monty python" there, and you will find other cool videos.

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Banzai Harakiri

'new' books for kids....




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Banzai Harakiri

Ads....


(this is an ad for a lubricant....)

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Banzai Harakiri

Ads....

:-)


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Banzai Harakiri

Silence...



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Banzai Harakiri