fredag 20. februar 2009


This is a lost case....

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A perfect butt...

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Late night at the pub?

Your wife might be on her way....

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tirsdag 17. februar 2009


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Wanna play Paintball ?

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Motivation posters - 3

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Black Hitler

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torsdag 12. februar 2009

More never-seen childrens book...

Opps.. this is not for small children...

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From online chats...

Debaser - Guys
Debaser - Here is an important life lesson
Debaser - If someone comes up to you while you are eating egg at a mcdonalds
Debaser - And says "You're eating chicken period"
Debaser - Do NOT go
Debaser - And smear it all over your face
Debaser - Thats ANOTHER damn mcdonalds I can't go into

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onsdag 11. februar 2009

Obama - poor dude..

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Cool pics - I

Ultimate trap...

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Mac - who gives a shit?

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A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the
first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue,
gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat. The man isn't sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat. The man becomes more and more curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again. The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, “Three times you've sneezed and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently! Are you sending me signals, or, are you going crazy?”

The woman replies, “I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a
rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an

The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, “I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?”

The woman looks at him and says, “Pepper.”
Banzai Harakiri

Stick love...

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Sad, but true....

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French expressions you won't learn at school

  • À boire ou je tue le chien!
    Bring me something to drink or I kill the dog!

  • Arriver comme un cheveu sur la soupe
    About a remark in a conversation, to be completely irrelevant (literally: "to arrive like a hair in the soup")

  • Attaquer bille en tête
    He didn't beat about the bush (literally: "to attack with a marble in head")

  • Avoir chaud aux plumes
    To escape a danger (literally: "to have one's feathers hot")

  • Avoir des atomes crochus avec quelqu'un
    To have a lot in common with someone (literally: "to have hooked atoms with someone")

  • Avoir le cul entre deux chaises
    To be caught between two stools (literally: "to have one's ass between two chairs")

  • Avoir les dents du fond qui baignent
    To be overfed (literally: "to have one's back teeth swimming")

  • Avoir les jetons
    To be scared (literally: "to have the tokens")

  • Avoir les chevilles qui enflent
    To be very full of oneself (literally: "to have one's ankles swell")

  • Avoir des casseroles au cul
    To be haunted by a scandal (literally: "to have saucepans hung on the ass")

  • Avec ma bite et mon couteau
    To do something with very few tools (literally: "with my dick and my knife")

  • Avoir le cul bordé de nouilles
    To be lucky (literally: "to have the ass full of noodles")

  • Avoir trois métros de retard
    To always be one step behind (literally: "to be three metros late")

  • Avoir un chat dans la gorge
    To have a frog in one's throat (literally: "to have a cat in one's throat")

  • Avoir un fil à la patte
    To be tied down (literally: "to have a thread at the leg")

  • Avoir un poil dans la main
    To be lazy (literally: "to have a hair in the hand")

  • Avoir une peur bleue
    To have a bad scare (literally: "to have a blue fear")

  • Ça me fait une belle jambe
    A fat lot of good that does me! (literally: "It makes me a nice leg")

  • Ça ne casse pas des briques
    It has nothing to write home about (literally: "It doesn't break bricks")

  • Ça ne casse pas trois pattes à un canard
    It has nothing to write home about (literally: "It doesn't break three legs to a duck")

  • Ça va chier des bulles
    There'll be one hell of a row (literally: "It will shit bubbles")

  • Ça va être pour ma pomme
    It's for yours truly (literally: "It will be for my apple")

  • Ça vaut son pesant de cacahuètes
    Ironical: That's priceless (literally: "It is worth its weight in peanuts")

  • C'est dans la poche
    It's in the bag (literally: "It's in the pocket")

  • C'est le pied
    That's great (literally: "It is the foot")

  • C'est une autre paire de manches
    That's another story (literally: "It's another pair of sleeves")

  • Chat échaudé craint l'eau froide
    Once bitten, twice shy (literally: "A warmed cat fears cold water")

  • Coincer la bulle
    To bum around (literally: "to wedge the bubble")

  • Courir sur le haricot
    Get one someone's nerves (literally: "to run on someone's bean")

  • Découvrir le pot aux roses
    To discover a secret (literally: "to discover the roses' pot")
    Note: This expression does not spell "découvrir le poteau rose" (i.e., "to discover the pink pole").

  • Démerden Zie sich
    German-like expression for "solve your problem yourself" (literally: "get out of the shit yourself")

  • Dire tout et son contraire
    To say contradictory things (literally: "to say everything and its contrary")

  • Donner du fil à retordre
    To make life difficult to someone (literally: "to give threads to twist")

  • Donner sa langue au chat
    To give up a riddle (literally: "to give one's tongue to the cat")

  • L'enfance de l'art
    Its child play (literally: "the childhood of art")

  • En voir de toutes les couleurs
    To be through the mill (literally: "to see some of all colors")

  • Enfoncer le clou
    To drive the point home (literally: "to drive the nail in")

  • Essuyer les plâtres
    To have all the initial problems to put up with (literally: "to wipe the plasters")

  • Être de mauvais poil
    To be in a bad mood (literally: "to be of bad hair")

  • Être fagoté comme l'as de pique
    To be dressed any old how (literally: "to be dressed like the ace of spades")

  • Être habillé à la six-quatre-deux
    To be dressed any old how (literally: "to be dressed like six-four-two")

  • Il en a bavé des ronds de chapeau
    His eyes nearly popped out of his head (literally: "he dribbled hat circles")

  • Enfoncer des portes ouvertes
    To state the obvious (literally: "To break down open doors")

  • Être comme une poule qui a trouvé un couteau
    To be at a complete loss (literally: "To be like a chicken who has found a knife")

  • Être un peu long à la détente
    To react slowly to something (literally: "To have a slow trigger")

  • Faire d'une pierre deux coup
    To solve two problems with one solution (literally: "To do with one stone two hits")

  • Faux cul
    Hypocrite (literally: "fake ass")

  • Faux jeton
    Hypocrite (literally: "fake token")

  • Fumer comme un sapeur
    To smoke like a chimney (literally: "to smoke like a fireman")

  • Haut comme trois pommes
    About a person: small (literally: "tall as three apples")

  • Il n'y a pas de quoi fouetter un chat
    It is nothing to make a fuss about (literally: "It's no reason for whipping a cat")

  • Il y a de l'eau dans le gaz
    Things aren't running too smoothly (literally: "there is water in the gaz")

  • Il y une couille dans le potage
    There is a problem here (literally: "there is a ball (i.e., testicule) in the soup")

  • Jeter un froid
    To put a damper on things (literally: "to throw a cold)

  • Je ne vais pas faire long feu ici
    I will be leaving soon (literally: "I will not make long fire here")

  • Je te vois venir avec tes gros sabots
    Now we are finally getting to the point (literally: "I see you coming with your big clogs")

  • La vache!
    Expression of surprise (literally: "the cow!)

  • La cinquième roue du carosse
    To be like a spare part (literally: "the fifth wheel of the coach)

  • Laisser pisser le mérinos
    Don't react to a provocation (literally: "to let the merino piss")

  • Laisser tomber quelqu'un comme une vieille chaussette
    To jilt somebody (literally: "to drop somebody like an old sock")

  • Les bras m'en tombent
    I am stunned (literally: "my arms are falling")

  • Ne pas avoir inventé la poudre
    To be a little dumb (literally: "not to have invented gunpowder")

  • Ne pas savoir sur quel pied danser
    Not to know what to do (literally: "not to know on which foot to dance")

  • Ne pas y aller avec le dos de la cuillère
    There is no half-measures with him/her (literally: "not to go there with the back of the spoon")

  • Noyer le poisson
    To evade an issue (literally: "to drown the fish")

  • On n'est pas sorti de l'auberge
    We are not out of the woods yet (literally: "We are not out of the inn yet")

  • Parler à tort et à travers
    To blather (literally: "To speak wrongly and crosswise")

  • Pas piqué des hannetons
    Great (literally: "not bitten by cockchafers")

  • Peigner la girafe
    To do something useless (literally: "to comb the giraffe")

  • Poule mouillée
    Coward (literally: "wet chicken")

  • Prendre entre quatre z'yeux
    To have an argument with someone (literally: "To take someone between four eyes")

  • Quand les poules auront des dents
    Never (literally: "when chickens will have teeth")

  • Ronger son frein
    To champ at the bit (literally: "to gnaw one's break")

  • Sauter du coq à l'âne
    To jump from one subject to another (literally: "to jump from the rooster to the donkey")

  • Se faire chier comme un rat mort
    To be extremely bored (literally: "to make oneself shit like a dead rat")

  • S'en donner à coeur joie
    To have a tremendous time (literally: "to give oneself heart joy")

  • S'entendre comme larrons en foire
    To be thick as thieves (literally: "to get along like thieves in a fair")

  • Sortir de la gueule d'une vache
    This is said about a clothing item that looks cumpeled (literally: "to come from a cow's mouth")

  • Sucer les pissenlits par la racine
    Be dead (literally: "to suck the dandelions by the root")

  • Surveiller comme du lait sur le feu
    To keep an eye on (literally: "to keep an eye on like milk on a fire")

  • Tirer le diable par la queue
    To have money problems (literally: "to pull the devil's tail")

  • Tiré par les cheveux
    Far-fetched (literally: "pulled by the hair")

  • Tirer des plans sur la comète
    To build castles in the air (literally: "to draw plans on the comet")

  • Tomber à plat
    About a joke: not to trigger any reaction by the audience (literally: "to fall flat")

  • Tous les 36 du mois
    Never (literally: "each 36th day of the month")

  • Un peu mon neveu!
    Of course! (literally: "a little bit, my nephew!")

  • Vendre la peau de l'ours avant de l'avoir tué
    To count one's chickens before they are hatched (literally: "to sell the bear's skin before killing it")

    Banzai Harakiri

  • fredag 6. februar 2009

    Redneck Tips - Part 2

    Redneck Anti-salesman-tips

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    torsdag 5. februar 2009


    My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

    Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

    Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and also 33.

    Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

    Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

    John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

    Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

    Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

    Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

    Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

    Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

    Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

    Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

    Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

    My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

    Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

    Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

    Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

    Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

    Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

    Banzai Harakiri


    Banzai Harakiri

    Guess who this is...

    Banzai Harakiri

    In the kitchen

    She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt she normally slept in.

    As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment!'

    My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!' Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

    Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

    She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'

    Banzai Harakiri

    Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 - how to have fun....

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    Treadmill Kittens

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    Most relaxed ever....

    Banzai Harakiri

    onsdag 4. februar 2009

    A mans goal in life...

    You have to start early...

    Banzai Harakiri

    Born to be..... stupid?

    Banzai Harakiri

    Science vs Religion

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    Banzai Harakiri


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    Banzai Harakiri

    When you are not looking...

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    Accidents happens mostly at home...

    Banzai Harakiri


    Banzai Harakiri


    you have to start early...

    Banzai Harakiri


    Banzai Harakiri


    Banzai Harakiri

    mandag 2. februar 2009

    Chuck Norris - Eyedrops

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