tirsdag 30. juni 2009

Kitty got framed...


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Banzai Harakiri


Cool tricks...


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Banzai Harakiri


mandag 29. juni 2009

Early medicine...










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Banzai Harakiri


Sounds from a farm...


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Banzai Harakiri


lørdag 27. juni 2009

Sign..

I wouldnt put mutch faith in this sign....


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Banzai Harakiri


Coolest cat around...



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Banzai Harakiri


Electric duck...


errr... good idea?



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Banzai Harakiri


Advertise....


This is for a funeral services company...
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Banzai Harakiri


Titanic - first try...


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Banzai Harakiri


True Friend...



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Banzai Harakiri


Computer = bomb!

Can anyone tell me how?


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Banzai Harakiri


Cute or Evil?

You decide...


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Banzai Harakiri


Evil liver!



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Banzai Harakiri


Sign...



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Banzai Harakiri


The talking clock!

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night,
the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.

"Why, that's the talking clock" the man replied.

"How does it work?"

"Watch", the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For God's sake,
you bastard, it's 2 am in the morning!!"


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Banzai Harakiri


When Transforming goes wrong...




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Banzai Harakiri


Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk:

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk:

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
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Banzai Harakiri


Did you know?


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Banzai Harakiri


The last practical joke...



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Banzai Harakiri


Psychic Hotline

The company where my brother worked had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls. If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working late, Dave knew it would be a wrong number.

It got to the point where, as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up and say, "Psychic Hotline. I'm sorry, but you've dialed the wrong number."
The callers would often reply with something like, "I didn't even ask to speak to anyone yet. How did you know I dialed the wrong... Oh!" (Click)

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Banzai Harakiri


Tattoos...








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Banzai Harakiri


The difference....


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Banzai Harakiri


torsdag 25. juni 2009

Friends...


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Banzai Harakiri


Rowan Atkinson - Live (40 min)


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Banzai Harakiri


Why Daddy Didn’t Come To Work…

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone # and was greeted with a child’s whisper

“Hello”

Is your daddy home? he asked.

“Yes.” whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?

The child whispered, “no.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your mommy there?”
“Yes.”

May I talk with her?

Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes” whispered the child, “A policeman !!”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy.” whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter.” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle……..

“ME !”

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Banzai Harakiri


Can you...

keep from smiling to this little dude?

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Banzai Harakiri


tirsdag 23. juni 2009

Kiss and slap...

A young technician and his general manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each because they are giving each other "looks." Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."

The General manager is setting there thinking: "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"

The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"

The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his general manager all at the same time!!

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Banzai Harakiri


Mom is Santa....


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Banzai Harakiri


last smell of fresh air....


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Banzai Harakiri


How World of Warcraft ends....



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Banzai Harakiri


Portable pc....


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Banzai Harakiri


mandag 22. juni 2009

Worlds most dangerous Comic


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Banzai Harakiri


Nice beard...


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Banzai Harakiri


Creative Motorcycle Helmets...









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Banzai Harakiri


Free Photos!!!

This is hillarious!!!
Free Photo Booth
(Will open in a new window)
.

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Banzai Harakiri


Have you tried everything yet?


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Banzai Harakiri


mandag 15. juni 2009

The best barbershop in Poland


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Banzai Harakiri


Always read the menu carefully...


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Banzai Harakiri


Bad idea....


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Banzai Harakiri


Heard During Colonoscopy

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

* I usually don't do this on the first date.

* "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

* "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

* "Can you hear me now?"

* "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

* "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

* "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

* "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out, you put your left and in and you shake it all about...."

* "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

* "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

* "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

* "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...

* "Could you write a note for my wife saying that, in your considered medical opinion, my head is not up there?"

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Banzai Harakiri


The last seconds of Innocence...


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Banzai Harakiri


Special ability


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Banzai Harakiri


Is my connection connected?


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Banzai Harakiri


Toilet Paper Trick

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. The husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks.

“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”

The husband shrugs. “Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?”

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Banzai Harakiri


Have you tried it?


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Banzai Harakiri


Insurance


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Banzai Harakiri


Present for a man...






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Banzai Harakiri


My feet...


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Banzai Harakiri


Roses are...


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Banzai Harakiri


How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

This is nice to know, you never know, you know?


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Banzai Harakiri


Dyslexics...


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Banzai Harakiri


Pointless....


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Banzai Harakiri


Dating in the 60s

It's the summer of 1960 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue .

Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue 's mother answers and invites him in. 'Peggy Sue 's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' she says.

That's cool. Peggy Sue 's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive in movie.

Peggy Sue 's mother responds, 'Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.'

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says 'Wha...aaat?'

'Yeah,' says Peggy Sue 's mother, 'We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!'

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with Her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, 'Have a good Evening kids,' with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly dishevelled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

'It's The Twist, Mother! The Twist! It's called The Twist'!

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Banzai Harakiri


Txt msg's...

For those of you that havent learned what all those short-version of
txt words stands for...


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Banzai Harakiri


Photoshopped...

Can you guess how?

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Banzai Harakiri


Advertising

The right words are everything....

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Banzai Harakiri


Canned Foods Part 2











This one looks kind'a cool...


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Banzai Harakiri