Great truths

Great truths that children have learned

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2. When your Mum is angry with your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your three year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is grandad's lap.


Great truths that adults have learned

1. Talking to teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.



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Banzai Harakiri