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Banzai Harakiri
lørdag 31. januar 2009
Explanation...
question:
Dear John where do babies come from?
Alexis
Irving, Texas
answer:
when people have sex, God cries. his tears fall to the ground and water the ashes of the dead. the tears and the ashes mix and form a soul who lives in the ground. when a girl wearing a short skirt comes by, the soul sees its chance to be born and enters her womb. that's why girls who dress slutty always get pregnant.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Dear John where do babies come from?
Alexis
Irving, Texas
answer:
when people have sex, God cries. his tears fall to the ground and water the ashes of the dead. the tears and the ashes mix and form a soul who lives in the ground. when a girl wearing a short skirt comes by, the soul sees its chance to be born and enters her womb. that's why girls who dress slutty always get pregnant.
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Banzai Harakiri
fredag 30. januar 2009
Quick thinker...
An elderly man in Texas had owned a large farm for several years. He
had a beautiful large pond at the back of the property next to the road,
and he'd fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and he'd
planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it
over, as he hadn't been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting
and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women
had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were
skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence
and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming
out until you leave!" The old man frowned and yelled back, "I didn't
come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of
the pond."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."
Moral of the story:
Old men can still think fast
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
had a beautiful large pond at the back of the property next to the road,
and he'd fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and he'd
planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it
over, as he hadn't been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting
and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women
had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were
skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence
and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming
out until you leave!" The old man frowned and yelled back, "I didn't
come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of
the pond."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."
Moral of the story:
Old men can still think fast
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Actual english subtitles used in HK movies
1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
3. Gun wounds again?
4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
12. You daring lousy guy.
13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.
15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. [sic, of course]
20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination.
21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
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Banzai Harakiri
2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
3. Gun wounds again?
4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
12. You daring lousy guy.
13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.
15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. [sic, of course]
20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination.
21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
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Banzai Harakiri
The right ting to do...
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
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