"Mario"....SXSW 2011

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Banzai Harakiri

How is your beard?

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Banzai Harakiri

I think...

The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. And you know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

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Banzai Harakiri

The Genie in the lamp

A man was walking on a highway when he discovered a genie lamp.

He rubbed it and a genie came out and said,"I will grant you one wish."

The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I never have gone to Hawaii because I never could afford it. Could you make a highway from here to Hawaii so I could just drive over anytime?"

The genie sighed and said, "Man, I have been in this genie business for 10,000 years. I am quite tired. Can't you think of something a little more simple?"

The man thought and said, "Well, you know, I have been married to my wife for 5 years now but I still can't understand her. Can you make it so I can understand her from now on?"

The genie sighed again and said, "Two lanes or four?"
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Banzai Harakiri