Tech support... *sigh*

The following stream of emails is included verbatim. Almost. I'm too utterly baffled by human ineptitude to post a picture. Sorry.



From: Stan Bounatempo
Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 3:35 PM
To: Icarus
Subject: RE: SKYPE

Icarus,
Have you checked to ensure the capacity of my existing computer will handle the new processing demands of Skype?

Thank you

Stan Bounatempo

Sales Director
Adventucorp International Corporation
Phone: cell 555-245-1390
Fax: 555-555-3825

sbuonatempo.at.adventucorp.com
www.adventucorp.com



From: Icarus
Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 5:29 PM
To: Stan Bounatempo
Subject: RE: SKYPE

Yes. Min requirements are a P3 700 MHz with 256 MB RAM.



From: Stan Bounatempo
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 7:40 AM
To: Icarus
Subject: RE: SKYPE

The reason I asked is because your predecessor installed programs onto all of our computers without checking and we were all locked up for several months. It really hurt my productivity. My computer says under system, Intel R Core TM 2 CPU T-7200 @ 2.00 GHz 997 MHz 1.50 GB RAM

The RAM has already been increased by adding a chip and I was told it is the largest one that can be put into this computer. I am not sure if that really is the case or not. If the minimum requirements are 256 KB of RAM. I am going to be short by 106.


From: Icarus
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 8:52 AM
To: Stan Bounatempo
Subject: RE: SKYPE

Understood. I've heard horror stories about my esteemed predecessor. However, as you've said, you more than meet spec and should be fine.


From: Stan Bounatempo
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 8:54 AM
To: Icarus
Subject: RE: SKYPE

I don't know if you've noticed or just don't care, but as I said below, I have a Pentium 2 and 1.5 GB of RAM.


From: Icarus
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 8:57 AM
To: Stan Bounatempo
Subject: RE: SKYPE

I'm confused. Is this your home system? You have a Dual Core 2 system. You said so yourself.




From: Stan Bounatempo
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 9:03 AM
To: Icarus
Subject: RE: SKYPE
Icarus,

Kind of a "gotcha" moment. As you just confessed this is a PENTIUM 2. NOT A PENTIUM 3.


From: Icarus
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 9:04 AM
To: Stan Bounatempo
Subject: RE: SKYPE

A dual core system has 2 cores. It is more recent than the Pentium 3 chips, which only have one.


From: Stan Bounatempo
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 9:15 AM
To: Icarus
CC: CEO
Subject: RE: SKYPE
Icarus,

I am a salesman not a COMPUTER GURU, but I believe you said it had to be a 700 MHZ SYSTEM. I only HAVE 1.8, ENSTEIN. You also said 256 OF RAM. I ONLY HAVE 2. 2<256. 1.8<700. Perhaps if you actually LISTENED TO US INSTEAD OF BLOWING US OFF AS MORONS AND OLD TIMERS WE COULD GET SOME WORK DONE.


From: Icarus
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 9:45 AM
To: Stan Bounatempo
Cc: CEO
Subject: RE: SKYPE

First off, while your basic algebra's spot on, you're not converting your units. 1 GB=1024 MB and 1 GHz=1000 MHz. So you have more than enough.

Second, I'll be coming to your region at the end of the month to do an inspection of the network. Maybe you and I could meet up like proper gentlemen and discuss concepts like maintaining our composure, proper capitalization, and the 18th century concept of being honorably "called out". I don't suppose you own your own rapier or epee?..



From: CEO
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 11:02 AM
To: Stan Bounatempo
CC: Icarus
Subject: RE: SKYPE

Stan,

Allow me to break this down. If you owe me a quarter, and you have a dollar and fifty cents, do you have enough on hand to pay me?

Regards

CEO Bigwater

Decadent Executive
Adventucorp International Corporation
Phone: 555-462-5500



From: Stan Bounatempo
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 11:03 AM
To: CEO
CC: Icarus
Subject: RE: SKYPE

Hello Mr. Bigwater,

Didn't notice you were on the list. I think I understand it now. Sorry if I was out of control. As I said, I am a salesman; not a computer guru like Icarus. :)


From: CEO
Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 9:47 AM
To: Stan Bounatempo
CC: Icarus
Subject: RE: SKYPE

Learn how to Google, Stan. Seriously.

_______________
Banzai Harakiri