Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Christmas. "Since Christmas is a Christian holiday and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a Christmas card?"
Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a card to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock.
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl would have enough love to give Osama a Christmas card, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And, if other kids saw what I did and if they send Christmas cards to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful idea I've ever heard."
"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow his fucking brains out."
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Banzai Harakiri
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