(This is reportedly based on an actual experiment conducted in the U.K.)
Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.
Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.
One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.
All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why.
However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.
A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him.
This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.
One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.
And that is how most companies' policies get established.
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Banzai Harakiri
søndag 15. november 2009
Wireless connections...
When the neighbours are trying to tell you something...
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Banzai Harakiri
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Banzai Harakiri
fredag 6. november 2009
Dog food...
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??
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Banzai Harakiri
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??
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Banzai Harakiri
Tips..
A policeman had a perfect hiding place to screen speeding drivers. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, the officer investigated : a 9 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand-painted sign which said "SPEED CAMERA AHEAD."
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's partner in crime, another boy about 200 meters beyond the speed camera with a sign reading "TIPS" & a bucket at his feet full of coins.
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Banzai Harakiri
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's partner in crime, another boy about 200 meters beyond the speed camera with a sign reading "TIPS" & a bucket at his feet full of coins.
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Banzai Harakiri
Bad URL.....
Webmasters who didn't think when they registered their URL
Here's a list of some funny URLs, where the designer didn't thinking about how people would read the name of the site:
1) Who Represents?, a database for agencies to the rich and famous:
http://www.whorepresents.com
2) Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views:
http://www.expertsexchange.com
3) Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
http://www.penisland.net
4) Need a therapist?
http://www.therapistfinder.com
5) Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
http://www.molestationnursery.com
6) Gas central heating anyone?
http://www.gasheating.co.uk
7) New to Milan and you need electric light? Why not sign up on-line with
Power-Gen?
http://www.powergenitalia.com
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Banzai Harakiri
Here's a list of some funny URLs, where the designer didn't thinking about how people would read the name of the site:
1) Who Represents?, a database for agencies to the rich and famous:
http://www.whorepresents.com
2) Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views:
http://www.expertsexchange.com
3) Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
http://www.penisland.net
4) Need a therapist?
http://www.therapistfinder.com
5) Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
http://www.molestationnursery.com
6) Gas central heating anyone?
http://www.gasheating.co.uk
7) New to Milan and you need electric light? Why not sign up on-line with
Power-Gen?
http://www.powergenitalia.com
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Banzai Harakiri
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mandag 26. oktober 2009
Your screen dirty?
Then click on this link, and it will all be fixed :-)
Auto screen cleaner
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Banzai Harakiri
Auto screen cleaner
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Banzai Harakiri
torsdag 22. oktober 2009
Jesus is watching you...
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."
He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".
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Banzai Harakiri
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."
He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".
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Banzai Harakiri
Halloween the cool way
from another storysite:
I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA
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Banzai Harakiri
I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA
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Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 13. oktober 2009
Goofy and Donald...
Cant remember to have seen this in the original serie?
Click on picture for a larger version
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Banzai Harakiri
Click on picture for a larger version
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Banzai Harakiri
A shot in the dark
An 85 year old man is at the doc’s having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. “Never better!” he replies. “I’ve got an eighteen year old bride who’s pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?”
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story…
I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him.”
“That’s impossible !” said the old man in disbelief, “Someone else must have shot that beaver.”
“Exactly.”
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Banzai Harakiri
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story…
I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him.”
“That’s impossible !” said the old man in disbelief, “Someone else must have shot that beaver.”
“Exactly.”
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Banzai Harakiri
Proverbs and kids...
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
The __ place is for the kids to fill inn. Here is the best answers. :-)
Better to be safe than__ - punch a 5th grader
Strike while the__ - bug is close
It's always darkest before__ - Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of__ - termites
You can lead a horse to water but__ - how?
Don't bite the hand that__ - looks dirty
No news is__ - impossible
A miss is as good as a__ - Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new__ - math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll__ - stink in the morning
Love all, trust__ - me
The pen is mightier than the__ - pigs
An idle mind is__ - the best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's__ - pollution
Happy the bride who__ - gets all the presents
A penny saved is__ - not much
Two's company, three's__ - the Musketeers
Don't put off until tomorrow what__ - you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and__ - you have to blow your nose
Children should be seen and not__ - spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed__ - get new batteries
You get out of something what you__ - see pictured on the box
When the blind leadeth the blind__ - get out of the way
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Banzai Harakiri
The __ place is for the kids to fill inn. Here is the best answers. :-)
Better to be safe than__ - punch a 5th grader
Strike while the__ - bug is close
It's always darkest before__ - Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of__ - termites
You can lead a horse to water but__ - how?
Don't bite the hand that__ - looks dirty
No news is__ - impossible
A miss is as good as a__ - Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new__ - math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll__ - stink in the morning
Love all, trust__ - me
The pen is mightier than the__ - pigs
An idle mind is__ - the best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's__ - pollution
Happy the bride who__ - gets all the presents
A penny saved is__ - not much
Two's company, three's__ - the Musketeers
Don't put off until tomorrow what__ - you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and__ - you have to blow your nose
Children should be seen and not__ - spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed__ - get new batteries
You get out of something what you__ - see pictured on the box
When the blind leadeth the blind__ - get out of the way
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Banzai Harakiri
About To Get Charged With Battery
From a customers to a retail shop clerk:
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [electronics store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. I bought a Game Boy for my son a few days ago from your store, and it’s not working.”
Me: “Did you purchase a warranty?”
Customer: “Yes, is there anything you can do? My son was playing it earlier, and it suddenly turned off and refuses to turn back on.”
Me: “Maybe it ran out of batteries. Did you try and recharge them?”
Customer: “Wait, this uses batteries?”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a charger that comes in the box. Try plugging that in and waiting a few minutes and then seeing if it works.”
Customer: “But I threw the box out.”
Me: “Did you take everything out of the box?”
Customer: “Let me ask my son.”
(I was put on hold for a minute.)
Customer: “Well, I found the charger, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be needing it.”
Me: “Why not?”
Customer: “My son just snapped the system in half because he couldn’t get it to work. I don’t suppose the warranty covers that?”
Me: “Unfortunately, no.”
Customer: “I see. Then I have one more question: do you have any electronic child-spanking-devices?”
Me: “Nope, sorry.”
Customer: “I see. Guess I’ll need to do it the old fashioned way.” *click*
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Banzai Harakiri
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [electronics store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. I bought a Game Boy for my son a few days ago from your store, and it’s not working.”
Me: “Did you purchase a warranty?”
Customer: “Yes, is there anything you can do? My son was playing it earlier, and it suddenly turned off and refuses to turn back on.”
Me: “Maybe it ran out of batteries. Did you try and recharge them?”
Customer: “Wait, this uses batteries?”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a charger that comes in the box. Try plugging that in and waiting a few minutes and then seeing if it works.”
Customer: “But I threw the box out.”
Me: “Did you take everything out of the box?”
Customer: “Let me ask my son.”
(I was put on hold for a minute.)
Customer: “Well, I found the charger, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be needing it.”
Me: “Why not?”
Customer: “My son just snapped the system in half because he couldn’t get it to work. I don’t suppose the warranty covers that?”
Me: “Unfortunately, no.”
Customer: “I see. Then I have one more question: do you have any electronic child-spanking-devices?”
Me: “Nope, sorry.”
Customer: “I see. Guess I’ll need to do it the old fashioned way.” *click*
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Banzai Harakiri
fredag 2. oktober 2009
torsdag 24. september 2009
from IRC
(IRC - online chat program)
guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
guyen> shit, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass
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Banzai Harakiri
guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
guyen> shit, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass
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Banzai Harakiri
The difference...
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
Civil Engineers build targets.
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Banzai Harakiri
Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
Civil Engineers build targets.
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Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 22. september 2009
søndag 20. september 2009
lørdag 19. september 2009
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