Top 50 Interview Mistakes

Be sure to avoid these fatal errors on your next big interview!

1. Candidate smelled his armpits on the way to the interview room.

2. Candidate picked his nose in the interview.

3. Candidate said his relative hooked him up with the job.

4. Candidate said she was hung over from hard partying the night before.

5. Candidate said she was on her period.

6. Candidate said he hasn't smoked marijuana in 6 months.

7. Candidate said he hasn't done steroids in the last 12 months.

8. Candidate asked if internal team meetings were neccessary for him.

9. Candidate took out a hair brush and brushed her hair.

10. Candidate flushed the toilet while talking to interviewer during phone interview.

11. A candidate for an accounting position said she was a "people person" not a "numbers person."

12. When an applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.

13. Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.

14. Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified."

15. Candidate asked the interviewer for a ride home after the interview.

16. Candidate told the interviewer he wouldn't be able to stay with the job long because he thought he might get an inheritance if his uncle died -- and his uncle wasn't "looking too good."

17. Candidate answered cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.

18. Never attempt to lie or cover up any vital information, no matter how important you thought it was for you to conceal the information.

19. Avoid weak or too strong handshakes, minimal or almost no eye contact with the interviewer and slouching when seated.

20. Lack of confidence could be perceived by potential employers as your lack of preparation.

21. Turning up late for the interview and never calling to say you are running late will not give a good impression to your potential employer.

22. Forgetting the follow-up. Make sure to send a handwritten thank-you note or polite email to the interviewer expressing gratitude for his or her time and consideration.

23. Lack of enthusiasm. Show your enthusiasm for both the job and the opportunity to interview for it.

24. Failing to ask questions. Interviews are an exchange of information, and not having questions to ask can reveal a lack of preparation.

25. Do not ever talk trash about anyone in your social or professional circle. This reflects badly on your self image to the interviewee.

26. Never bring up talk on salary at the beginning of the interview. Only talk about salary or your employment package, i.e. remuneration, benefits, etc. They will ask you towards the end.

27. Talking too much. Be careful not to talk over the interviewer. The meeting should be a two-way conversation.

28. Being too modest. Failing to talk yourself up during an interview is one of the most self-defeating mistakes you can make.

29. Dressing down is very bad. If you want the job dress up as the job. Show up in neat, professional clothing, preferably a business suit.

30. Proceed the interview in a serious manner as your potential future boss can sniff out a lazy bee.

31. No matter how obvious you may think it appears - Never, and I do mean NEVER, ask a woman when the baby is due! She might not be pregnant... it's a shoe better left uneaten!

32. Do NOT pass gas!

33. When a recent interviewee was asked what his first impressions of the company were, he said, "it doesn't scream I have arrived." Don't insult the place that might potentially hire you.

34. Do not say "I am fascinated by fire."

35. Don't criticize your former employer!

36. Never tell a joke that may offend someone on the interview team. For instance, a Mexican joke would not be a great icebreaker to someone who is Mexican!

37. Do not mispronounce or forget your interviewer's name...it could lead to a very embarrassing and consequential moment!

38. Do not ask, "What is it that you people do at this company?"

39. You should not tell them that you are planning on taking a day off at least once a week.

40. Do not say, "I wouldn't have lost my last job if nobody had snitched on me."

41. Do not say "How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash? "

42. Do not say "Does your internet access have a firewall that blocks pornographic websites?"

43. Do not say "Does your insurance cover sex-change or gynecomastia operations?"

44. Do not say "How many sick days do you allow each employee before you stop paying them for not being here?"

45. Do not say "Does your company's insurance consider genital herpes a pre-existing condition?"

46. Do not say "How in depth are your criminal background checks?"

47. Do not say "Does your company's life insurance cover suicide?"

48. Do not say "Do you have a random drug testing policy?"

49. Do not say "How long does it take your company's bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance?"

50. Do not say "What's your company's policy on severance pay?"

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Banzai Harakiri