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Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 13. juli 2010
mandag 12. juli 2010
fredag 9. juli 2010
torsdag 8. juli 2010
onsdag 7. juli 2010
Coffee shop of the future...
For the time when you need a coffe, this is a good name :-)
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Banzai Harakiri
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Banzai Harakiri
Bending the law...
(This one was forwarded to me by my friend Bryan, who got it from his friend Cliff.)
Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):
``Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.''
Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.
Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.
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Banzai Harakiri
Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):
``Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.''
Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.
Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.
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Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 6. juli 2010
The moral of the story
One day at the end of class, little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story...
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Suzy raises her hand...,"My Daddy owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.Well one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story...
Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
"Well done, Suzy. Now who wants to go next?" Asks the teacher.
Lucy quickly raises her hand. "Well, my Dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend, only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
"And the moral?"
Lucy replies, "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"Excellent, Lucy. Who's next?"
Billy jumps up. "My grandad fought in the Vietnam War, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He was able to jump out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the whole case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun until he ran out of bullets. Then, he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. But, the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looks at Billy with a shocked expression, "My goodness Billy.
Can there possibly be a moral to this story?"
Billy replies, "Yeh...Don't f**k with grandad when he's pissed."
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Banzai Harakiri
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Suzy raises her hand...,"My Daddy owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.Well one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story...
Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
"Well done, Suzy. Now who wants to go next?" Asks the teacher.
Lucy quickly raises her hand. "Well, my Dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend, only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
"And the moral?"
Lucy replies, "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"Excellent, Lucy. Who's next?"
Billy jumps up. "My grandad fought in the Vietnam War, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He was able to jump out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the whole case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun until he ran out of bullets. Then, he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. But, the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looks at Billy with a shocked expression, "My goodness Billy.
Can there possibly be a moral to this story?"
Billy replies, "Yeh...Don't f**k with grandad when he's pissed."
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Banzai Harakiri
mandag 5. juli 2010
Football finally makes sense....
A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it", she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just cannot understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like.... Hellooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!"
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Banzai Harakiri
"Oh, I really liked it", she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just cannot understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like.... Hellooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!"
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Banzai Harakiri
Best 911 call ever...
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.
Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
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Banzai Harakiri
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.
Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
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Banzai Harakiri
fredag 2. juli 2010
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