mandag 26. oktober 2009
Your screen dirty?
Then click on this link, and it will all be fixed :-)
Auto screen cleaner
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Banzai Harakiri
Auto screen cleaner
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Banzai Harakiri
torsdag 22. oktober 2009
Jesus is watching you...
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."
He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".
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Banzai Harakiri
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."
He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".
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Banzai Harakiri
Halloween the cool way
from another storysite:
I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA
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Banzai Harakiri
I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA
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Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 13. oktober 2009
Goofy and Donald...
Cant remember to have seen this in the original serie?
Click on picture for a larger version
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Banzai Harakiri
Click on picture for a larger version
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Banzai Harakiri
A shot in the dark
An 85 year old man is at the doc’s having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. “Never better!” he replies. “I’ve got an eighteen year old bride who’s pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?”
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story…
I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him.”
“That’s impossible !” said the old man in disbelief, “Someone else must have shot that beaver.”
“Exactly.”
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Banzai Harakiri
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story…
I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him.”
“That’s impossible !” said the old man in disbelief, “Someone else must have shot that beaver.”
“Exactly.”
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Banzai Harakiri
Proverbs and kids...
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
The __ place is for the kids to fill inn. Here is the best answers. :-)
Better to be safe than__ - punch a 5th grader
Strike while the__ - bug is close
It's always darkest before__ - Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of__ - termites
You can lead a horse to water but__ - how?
Don't bite the hand that__ - looks dirty
No news is__ - impossible
A miss is as good as a__ - Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new__ - math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll__ - stink in the morning
Love all, trust__ - me
The pen is mightier than the__ - pigs
An idle mind is__ - the best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's__ - pollution
Happy the bride who__ - gets all the presents
A penny saved is__ - not much
Two's company, three's__ - the Musketeers
Don't put off until tomorrow what__ - you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and__ - you have to blow your nose
Children should be seen and not__ - spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed__ - get new batteries
You get out of something what you__ - see pictured on the box
When the blind leadeth the blind__ - get out of the way
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Banzai Harakiri
The __ place is for the kids to fill inn. Here is the best answers. :-)
Better to be safe than__ - punch a 5th grader
Strike while the__ - bug is close
It's always darkest before__ - Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of__ - termites
You can lead a horse to water but__ - how?
Don't bite the hand that__ - looks dirty
No news is__ - impossible
A miss is as good as a__ - Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new__ - math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll__ - stink in the morning
Love all, trust__ - me
The pen is mightier than the__ - pigs
An idle mind is__ - the best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's__ - pollution
Happy the bride who__ - gets all the presents
A penny saved is__ - not much
Two's company, three's__ - the Musketeers
Don't put off until tomorrow what__ - you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and__ - you have to blow your nose
Children should be seen and not__ - spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed__ - get new batteries
You get out of something what you__ - see pictured on the box
When the blind leadeth the blind__ - get out of the way
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Banzai Harakiri
About To Get Charged With Battery
From a customers to a retail shop clerk:
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [electronics store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. I bought a Game Boy for my son a few days ago from your store, and it’s not working.”
Me: “Did you purchase a warranty?”
Customer: “Yes, is there anything you can do? My son was playing it earlier, and it suddenly turned off and refuses to turn back on.”
Me: “Maybe it ran out of batteries. Did you try and recharge them?”
Customer: “Wait, this uses batteries?”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a charger that comes in the box. Try plugging that in and waiting a few minutes and then seeing if it works.”
Customer: “But I threw the box out.”
Me: “Did you take everything out of the box?”
Customer: “Let me ask my son.”
(I was put on hold for a minute.)
Customer: “Well, I found the charger, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be needing it.”
Me: “Why not?”
Customer: “My son just snapped the system in half because he couldn’t get it to work. I don’t suppose the warranty covers that?”
Me: “Unfortunately, no.”
Customer: “I see. Then I have one more question: do you have any electronic child-spanking-devices?”
Me: “Nope, sorry.”
Customer: “I see. Guess I’ll need to do it the old fashioned way.” *click*
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Banzai Harakiri
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [electronics store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. I bought a Game Boy for my son a few days ago from your store, and it’s not working.”
Me: “Did you purchase a warranty?”
Customer: “Yes, is there anything you can do? My son was playing it earlier, and it suddenly turned off and refuses to turn back on.”
Me: “Maybe it ran out of batteries. Did you try and recharge them?”
Customer: “Wait, this uses batteries?”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a charger that comes in the box. Try plugging that in and waiting a few minutes and then seeing if it works.”
Customer: “But I threw the box out.”
Me: “Did you take everything out of the box?”
Customer: “Let me ask my son.”
(I was put on hold for a minute.)
Customer: “Well, I found the charger, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be needing it.”
Me: “Why not?”
Customer: “My son just snapped the system in half because he couldn’t get it to work. I don’t suppose the warranty covers that?”
Me: “Unfortunately, no.”
Customer: “I see. Then I have one more question: do you have any electronic child-spanking-devices?”
Me: “Nope, sorry.”
Customer: “I see. Guess I’ll need to do it the old fashioned way.” *click*
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Banzai Harakiri
fredag 2. oktober 2009
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