torsdag 31. juli 2008
From the future :-)
Last Friday, I was getting out of work. I was in a meeting so I was wearing a suit, which ended up being perfect.
I was waiting at a crosswalk, and this lady wasn't paying attention and walked into the street. She's about 45-50 I guess? The street was pretty empty in both directions except for a bus in the close lane that the lady didn't see. The bus was coming in pretty fast, and I don't know how she missed it, but to her credit there were some bus stops and parked cars and stuff that may have obstructed the view.
Anyways, just as the bus started honking and slamming breaks, I grabbed her and pulled her back. She would have probably made it anyway, but it made a pretty nice dramatic effect.
So this lady was really freaked out by the whole thing. She was sorta stuck in between thanking me, and catching her breath. So (and wtf did this come from I have no idea), I pulled out my PDA and said "This is Commander Navarrette, I saved the subject. The time is 4:39 pm." She had no idea what was happening and kept looking at me all dumb. So I said something to the effect of, "Ma'am I need your signature to affirm that you were here and I stopped you from getting run over by the 4:39 bus."
I didn't know what she thought about the situation, but I decided to press it a bit further. I opened my pda's drawing thing (ooo high tech) and asked her to sign it, which she did.
I thanked her then followed up with "Your grandson is very important," which immediately I realized was really dumb because she didn't look like she was old enough to have grandchildren.
"I don't have a grandson," is all she said. I freaked out for a second, thinking I just made a total ass of myself. But then I said "You will," and gave her sorta a wink/smile.
The crosswalk light was green and I walked off. She stood there A few seconds later she yelled "wait!" but I was already across the street and pretended I didn't hear and kept walking.
I have no idea what she thought of the whole thing, but even the idea of her thinking I was from the future totally made my day.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
I was waiting at a crosswalk, and this lady wasn't paying attention and walked into the street. She's about 45-50 I guess? The street was pretty empty in both directions except for a bus in the close lane that the lady didn't see. The bus was coming in pretty fast, and I don't know how she missed it, but to her credit there were some bus stops and parked cars and stuff that may have obstructed the view.
Anyways, just as the bus started honking and slamming breaks, I grabbed her and pulled her back. She would have probably made it anyway, but it made a pretty nice dramatic effect.
So this lady was really freaked out by the whole thing. She was sorta stuck in between thanking me, and catching her breath. So (and wtf did this come from I have no idea), I pulled out my PDA and said "This is Commander Navarrette, I saved the subject. The time is 4:39 pm." She had no idea what was happening and kept looking at me all dumb. So I said something to the effect of, "Ma'am I need your signature to affirm that you were here and I stopped you from getting run over by the 4:39 bus."
I didn't know what she thought about the situation, but I decided to press it a bit further. I opened my pda's drawing thing (ooo high tech) and asked her to sign it, which she did.
I thanked her then followed up with "Your grandson is very important," which immediately I realized was really dumb because she didn't look like she was old enough to have grandchildren.
"I don't have a grandson," is all she said. I freaked out for a second, thinking I just made a total ass of myself. But then I said "You will," and gave her sorta a wink/smile.
The crosswalk light was green and I walked off. She stood there A few seconds later she yelled "wait!" but I was already across the street and pretended I didn't hear and kept walking.
I have no idea what she thought of the whole thing, but even the idea of her thinking I was from the future totally made my day.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
A Compendium of 150 Monty Python Sketches
Do you need a day off? Work is to boring?
Then take a look at A Compendium of 150 Monty Python Sketches
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Then take a look at A Compendium of 150 Monty Python Sketches
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
onsdag 30. juli 2008
Paul Potts - One of the greatest voices in the world
This guy is just f**king amasing.
Paul Potts - Final and Audition - Nessun Dorma
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Paul Potts - Final and Audition - Nessun Dorma
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 29. juli 2008
Spank you very mutch
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Labels:
cute,
humor,
misunderstanding,
spank,
tv
mandag 28. juli 2008
Nobody is this stupid... (i hope)
from IRC:
Cthon98: hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
Cthon98: ********* see!
AzureDiamond: hunter2
AzureDiamond: doesnt look like stars to me
Cthon98: "AzureDiamond" *******
Cthon98: thats what I see
AzureDiamond: oh, really?
Cthon98: Absolutely
AzureDiamond: you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
AzureDiamond: haha, does that look funny to you?
Cthon98: lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
AzureDiamond: thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
Cthon98: yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as ******
AzureDiamond: awesome!
AzureDiamond: wait, how do you know my pw?
Cthon98: er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
AzureDiamond: oh, ok.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Cthon98: hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
Cthon98: ********* see!
AzureDiamond: hunter2
AzureDiamond: doesnt look like stars to me
Cthon98: "AzureDiamond" *******
Cthon98: thats what I see
AzureDiamond: oh, really?
Cthon98: Absolutely
AzureDiamond: you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
AzureDiamond: haha, does that look funny to you?
Cthon98: lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
AzureDiamond: thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
Cthon98: yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as ******
AzureDiamond: awesome!
AzureDiamond: wait, how do you know my pw?
Cthon98: er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
AzureDiamond: oh, ok.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Having a good day...
I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres!
So I called him a piece of horse shit.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner.
I try to have a little fun each day.
It's important.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres!
So I called him a piece of horse shit.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner.
I try to have a little fun each day.
It's important.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Cell phones equals pure evil
This is really cool. Turn up the volume and press 'Play'.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 8. juli 2008
Finished school ?
Axioms
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.
Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything, where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Shin: A device for finding furniture.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
I wished the buck stopped here, because I could sure use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.
Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything, where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Shin: A device for finding furniture.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
I wished the buck stopped here, because I could sure use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
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