_______________
Banzai Harakiri
fredag 29. februar 2008
How the future will be...
..was something they wondered about in the 1970ish. They even wrote a book about it, and now the "the Useless Museum" has scanned the entire book and made it public. Its awesome :-)
Check it out!
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Check it out!
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
torsdag 28. februar 2008
Creative....
An image from Iznogood (I got a bunch from him :-) )
I bet you are glad that this kid doesnt live in your neighbourhood :-)
From Iznogood__
Banzai Harakiri
I bet you are glad that this kid doesnt live in your neighbourhood :-)
From Iznogood__
Banzai Harakiri
When doin the job aint enough...
Thanks again to Iznogood for this contribution! :-)
From Iznogood_
Banzai Harakiri
From Iznogood_
Banzai Harakiri
Have a bad job? Think again...
A good friend of mine sendt me these photos.
Thanks Iznogood!
From Iznogood__
Banzai Harakiri
Thanks Iznogood!
From Iznogood__
Banzai Harakiri
Priceless...
These stories came from a good friend.
Thanks Sianaat!
------------------------------
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He
says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100
dollars?
"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns
around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs
around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your
breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh?
Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal
the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he
grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing
them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite
them or not?"
"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..."
-------------------------------
THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2007...
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
:-)
From Sianaat__
Banzai Harakiri
Thanks Sianaat!
------------------------------
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He
says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100
dollars?
"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns
around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs
around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your
breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh?
Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal
the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he
grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing
them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite
them or not?"
"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..."
-------------------------------
THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2007...
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
:-)
From Sianaat__
Banzai Harakiri
fredag 22. februar 2008
Two hunters... (joke)
. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Strange Flight Attendant
Listen to this flight attendant. I have the feeling that this is not the first time he's reading the manual, and wanted to polish it a little. :-)
The video (you need sound..)
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
The video (you need sound..)
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
With paper and a scissor...
Here's what you can do if you got some spare time and a scissor close by...
Paper Art
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Paper Art
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Run Panda, Run!
A Zoo breakout. Look at the second panda, looking around to check if anybody is paying any attention.. :-)
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Don't Argue With The Gay Flight Attendant (joke)
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Helping hand...
Always remember to lend a helping hand to someone that needs it...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Somethimes you can read....
...it in the name (dont even have to go between the lines :-) ).
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Road Block....
A hot tip: dont yell at the driver in front of you... especially when he's driving a bus...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
torsdag 21. februar 2008
Whats next?
I didnt think anything could beat diet-soda, but look at this....
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
The Simpsons
I'm a big Simpsons fan, and I have always tried to catch what Bart writes on the chalkboard in the start of each episode. Then I found this list....
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Intro's
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Intro's
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
When life is a little depressing...
remember its always someone that have it worse!
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
The worlds worst hacker...
I just shook my head in disbelief when I read this. It has to be faked? Nobody can be that stupid? Oh man....
The Worlds Worst Hacker
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
The Worlds Worst Hacker
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Pets....those poor pets...
Some thing should be forbidden by law. Dressing dogs in costumes is one of them.
Have the people doing sutch a stupid act really thought about how it might feel for the pets? They will be the laughting stock for all their friends in months to come.
Check out this gallery of horror
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Have the people doing sutch a stupid act really thought about how it might feel for the pets? They will be the laughting stock for all their friends in months to come.
Check out this gallery of horror
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Mother inlaw... (joke)
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab . "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab . "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Military rules....
This guy seems like he had a fun time when serving in the army.
Just try to imagine the situation that leads up to these new rules... :-)
List of rules
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Just try to imagine the situation that leads up to these new rules... :-)
List of rules
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
It aint easy beeing the boss...
Giving out rewards is one of the hard ones...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
.
Smoking in the Rain... (joke)
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, “Hey that’s a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?”
The other old lady said, “It’s a condom.”
“A condom? Where do you get those?”
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, “What size do you want?”
The old lady thought for a minute and said, “One that will fit a Camel.”
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Her friend saw this and said, “Hey that’s a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?”
The other old lady said, “It’s a condom.”
“A condom? Where do you get those?”
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, “What size do you want?”
The old lady thought for a minute and said, “One that will fit a Camel.”
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
When virtual thingies goes to far...
Found this comic strip, and posted it here. Not because its kind of funny, but as a reminder of the other things, you know: the things thats not inside the mainframe?
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Far Cry 2
Yeah, I'm a gamer. An old gamer, but still able to give some virtual ass-kicking :-)
One of the years top games-to-be, is Far Cry 2, and I cant wait to get my hands on a copy.
Why? See for youself...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
One of the years top games-to-be, is Far Cry 2, and I cant wait to get my hands on a copy.
Why? See for youself...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 19. februar 2008
Funny Commercials..
This is a collection of some funny television ads in the US.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
onsdag 13. februar 2008
Library... a unknown place...
There is actually people that doesnt know what a public library is...amazing.
From a forum
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
From a forum
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Jesus is light...
Well, i dont think it was ment like this. Is it only me, or is this a little
disturbing?
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
disturbing?
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Sand Castle...
One popular "sport" when on holiday, is to build sandcastles on the beach...
Well, the person(s) that build this is way beyond that point when ordinary castles
was hard to create... Man, this is well done!
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Well, the person(s) that build this is way beyond that point when ordinary castles
was hard to create... Man, this is well done!
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Company Brandings....
Well, lets assume you are a lazy, have no fantasy, wanna-make-a-quick-buck kind of guy
that have some items you want to get sold quickly. Branding is the way to go...
Check out these pictures..
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
that have some items you want to get sold quickly. Branding is the way to go...
Check out these pictures..
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Men die younger than women... why?
There is a scientific fact that men die younger than women, and
I present the reason why...
Why men die younger
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
I present the reason why...
Why men die younger
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 12. februar 2008
Monty Python....
Monty Python is THE funniest comedians in the earth history, and here is a small collection of some of their funniest sketches. Enjoy! :-)
Monty Python - Murderer
Monty Python - Hitler in England
Monty Python - Fish Slapping Dance
Monty Python - I Wish to Report a Burglary
Monty Python - Bicycle Repairman!
Update: unfortunately, some of the clips have been removed from youtube, but do a search for "monty python" there, and you will find other cool videos.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Monty Python - Murderer
Monty Python - Hitler in England
Monty Python - Fish Slapping Dance
Monty Python - I Wish to Report a Burglary
Monty Python - Bicycle Repairman!
Update: unfortunately, some of the clips have been removed from youtube, but do a search for "monty python" there, and you will find other cool videos.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Abonner på:
Innlegg (Atom)