_______________
Banzai Harakiri
torsdag 11. mars 2010
You think you got balls? Think again...
If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson.
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming.
To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it.
Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and watched people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said Screw You, he turned to the bride and said Screw You, and then said I'm out of here.
He got the marriage annulled the next day.
While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway. His revenge: making the bride's parents pay for a 300 guest wedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what did happen, and trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of friends, family, grandparents, etc.
This is his world, we just live in it.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming.
To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it.
Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and watched people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said Screw You, he turned to the bride and said Screw You, and then said I'm out of here.
He got the marriage annulled the next day.
While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway. His revenge: making the bride's parents pay for a 300 guest wedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what did happen, and trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of friends, family, grandparents, etc.
This is his world, we just live in it.
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Alternative Dictionary
ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead..
COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.
INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction .
TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.
and last but not least…..
WRINKLES
Something other people have, similar to my character lines
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead..
COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.
INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction .
TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.
and last but not least…..
WRINKLES
Something other people have, similar to my character lines
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
tirsdag 2. mars 2010
Tom Mabe – Telemarketer Crime Scene Prank
This is one of the best phone pranks i have ever heard in my life. This is above hillarious! :-) (its in english).
Follow this link to hear it. Its get wilder and wilder as it goes along...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Follow this link to hear it. Its get wilder and wilder as it goes along...
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
CIA Assassin Training
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.”
The first man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
_________________
Banzai Harakiri
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.”
The first man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
_________________
Banzai Harakiri
Facts...
Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
The three wealthiest families in the world have more assets than the Combined wealth of the forty-eight poorest nations.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line Would never end because of the rate of reproduction
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (explains a lot, doesnt it?)
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
The three wealthiest families in the world have more assets than the Combined wealth of the forty-eight poorest nations.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line Would never end because of the rate of reproduction
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (explains a lot, doesnt it?)
_______________
Banzai Harakiri
Abonner på:
Innlegg (Atom)