Insane in the Mainframe

Thats how?

2012-01-04T07:07:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Honest...

2011-11-25T06:02:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Escape...

2011-11-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

How we all feel at times...

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Banzai Harakiri

Female IT-Experts...

2011-11-25T05:59:00.001-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Lost...

2011-11-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

What our pets do when we're away

2011-11-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

First world problems...

2011-11-23T08:39:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

How to scare your roommates..

2011-11-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Perspective...

2011-11-23T08:29:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

MILF

2011-11-21T04:52:00.003-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Rainy day...

2011-11-21T01:21:00.001-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Does the name help?

2011-11-21T00:51:00.000-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

A serious moment...

2011-11-21T00:49:00.000-08:00

This is important, people

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Banzai Harakiri

Close up....

2011-11-21T00:34:00.001-08:00

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Banzai Harakiri

"Mario"....SXSW 2011

2011-10-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Daddy's test...

2011-10-25T07:17:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Mentosontherocks...

2011-10-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Ad gone wrong....

2011-10-16T09:47:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Wall art

2011-10-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Every mans last words...

2011-10-16T09:43:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Am I doing it right?

2011-10-05T05:47:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

How is your beard?

2011-10-05T05:36:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

I think...

2011-10-05T04:47:00.000-07:00

The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. And you know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

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Banzai Harakiri

Girls vs makeup

2011-10-05T04:42:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Break up...

2011-10-05T04:37:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

No matter what...

2011-10-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Osama vs Obama - facepalm

2011-10-04T06:06:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

How to be a jerk

2011-10-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

The Genie in the lamp

2011-10-04T05:02:00.001-07:00

A man was walking on a highway when he discovered a genie lamp.

He rubbed it and a genie came out and said,"I will grant you one wish."

The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I never have gone to Hawaii because I never could afford it. Could you make a highway from here to Hawaii so I could just drive over anytime?"

The genie sighed and said, "Man, I have been in this genie business for 10,000 years. I am quite tired. Can't you think of something a little more simple?"

The man thought and said, "Well, you know, I have been married to my wife for 5 years now but I still can't understand her. Can you make it so I can understand her from now on?"

The genie sighed again and said, "Two lanes or four?"
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Banzai Harakiri

Awesome

2011-10-04T04:50:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Better than sayin 'I love you'...

2011-10-04T04:31:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

How to impress...

2011-09-30T16:29:00.000-07:00

How to Impress a Woman

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....

How to Impress a Man

Show up naked.
Bring beer.

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Banzai Harakiri

Like a boss

2011-09-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Award

2011-09-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Its a bird!

2011-09-30T16:17:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

The way Orange juice is made...

2011-09-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Ooooppss....

2011-08-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Have you ever noticed?

2011-08-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Ammunition...

2011-08-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

End of the rainbow...

2011-08-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

funny pics...

2011-07-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Airport stories...

2011-07-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked: "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked". Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I didn't land."

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.

An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

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Banzai Harakiri

Truth

2011-07-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

How to paint your bathroom floor...

2011-07-04T06:32:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

From Bad to Worse...

2011-07-04T06:13:00.000-07:00

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”

His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.

“Oh, no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”

“She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?”

Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”

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Banzai Harakiri

The Muppets - Bohemian Rhapsody

2011-07-04T06:10:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Windshield cleaner prank...

2011-07-04T03:20:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

The secret of the Easter Island

2011-07-04T02:59:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

The Worst Ethnic Joke Ever Told

2011-07-04T02:56:00.000-07:00

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canuck, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," said the snooty maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

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Banzai Harakiri

Babysitter...

2011-07-04T02:12:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Balls...

2011-07-04T01:52:00.000-07:00

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And....
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!

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Banzai Harakiri

Here goes my money...

2011-07-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Fail

2011-07-03T09:47:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Happy ending...

2011-07-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

American point of view

2011-07-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Hey baby, wanna come over tonight?

2011-07-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Serious for a moment... read this one!

2011-07-03T09:18:00.001-07:00

Why you should not buy a Mac

Will open in a new window
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Banzai Harakiri

Attack of....

2011-07-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Sneaky

2011-07-03T05:44:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Nevah!

2011-07-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Cute one...

2011-07-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

After not seeing my dog in 5 months, I skyped with him last night. My mom sent me this after we disconnected

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Banzai Harakiri

Fail..

2011-07-03T05:36:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Iphone...

2011-07-03T05:26:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Why you need to sleep with a teddybear

2011-07-03T05:23:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

True love

2011-05-18T05:11:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Bastard...

2011-05-18T01:29:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Duke Nukem Lines...

2011-05-18T01:23:00.000-07:00

Click for larger version
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Banzai Harakiri

25 years later...

2011-05-18T01:08:00.000-07:00

Click for larger version
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Banzai Harakiri

Warning..

2011-05-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Divorce gone bad...

2011-05-11T06:58:00.002-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Who? Me?

2011-05-11T06:58:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Awesome wallpaint

2011-05-11T06:56:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Secrets...

2011-05-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Advertising.....

2011-05-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

or just one of the dumbest tattoo up to this date?

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Banzai Harakiri

There is always a marked....

2011-05-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Need for speed...

2011-05-11T06:12:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

How cats sees themselves...

2011-05-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

The cake is a lie....

2011-05-11T05:35:00.000-07:00

To mutch 'Portal'

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Banzai Harakiri

The dog said this was fun....

2011-05-11T05:34:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Hitching a ride...

2011-05-11T05:31:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Way too mutch...

2011-05-11T05:18:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

...and one second later.

2011-05-11T05:15:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Did you know?

2011-05-11T05:14:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Warning sign...

2011-05-11T05:08:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Mmmm....bacon...

2011-05-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Invitation...

2011-05-11T04:52:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

When you are really desperate...

2011-05-11T04:41:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

New haircut?

2011-05-11T04:34:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

How did this happen?

2011-05-11T04:32:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Diagram...

2011-05-11T04:11:00.000-07:00

I hope they have a diagram over this...

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Banzai Harakiri

Cool tattoo's...

2011-05-11T04:02:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

The first remote control...

2011-05-11T01:41:00.003-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Natural engergy...

2011-05-11T01:41:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Tattoo....

2011-05-11T01:37:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Real life 'Portal' ...

2011-05-11T01:27:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Way to cool...

2011-05-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

They are among us...

2011-05-11T01:02:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Burnout...

2011-05-11T01:00:00.000-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri

Game...

2011-05-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

I was not sure what to call this pic....

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Banzai Harakiri

Eggs...

2011-05-11T00:42:00.001-07:00

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Banzai Harakiri